Emotional Intelligence in Henderson & Surrounding Areas - WHAT YOU PERMIT, YOU PROMOTE – CREATE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES


by:  Mary Christian

“What you permit, you promote?” What the heck is IT supposed to mean in relation to Emotional Intelligence (“EQ”) and life in general? Time to dive deeper…

At its core, emotional intelligence encompasses the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s emotions effectively. It involves being attuned to one’s inner experiences while also being sensitive to the emotions of others. Central to emotional intelligence is self awareness, the capacity to identify and comprehend one’s own feelings, strengths, weaknesses, and triggers. By deepening this awareness, individuals can gain insight into their patterns of behavior and thought, allowing them to make conscious choices rather than reacting impulsively.

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Healthy boundaries serve as the cornerstone of emotional intelligence, delineating the limits of acceptable behavior and defining the space where self respect and mutual respect intersect. Establishing boundaries is not about building walls but rather about creating clear guidelines for how we engage with others and how we allow them to engage with us. It involves communicating our needs, desires, and limits assertively and with respect, without guilt or fear of rejection, and is essential to foster positive relationships. Boundaries define the limits of acceptable behavior and create the framework for how individuals interact with one another, serving to prevent emotional exhaustion and burnout.

Self awareness. Understanding your own emotions, needs, and limits is crucial in establishing boundaries align with your personal values and set the stage for enhanced emotional intelligence. You get to tell me what doesn’t work for you, I get to tell you what doesn’t work for me, and neither of us needs to be psychic, mean, or argumentative? WHAT A CONCEPT!

Self regulation. Boundaries play a key role in self regulation and help individuals manage their emotions effectively. By establishing limits on certain behaviors or situations, we can better navigate challenging emotions and respond with intelligence and composure rather than serving up emotionally charged responses.

Empathy. Understanding others’ emotions and needs is paramount to EQ. By walking in each other’s shoes, we can better understand, FEEL, choose how to respond, then provide an emotionally intelligent response. By respecting each other’s boundaries, a space is created where empathy can thrive, leading to more meaningful and supportive relationships.

Communication. Establishing and effectively communicating boundaries requires openness, assertiveness, and vulnerability. When we express our needs and expectations clearly, we contribute to a more transparent emotional environment.

Conflict resolution. Boundaries play a crucial role in conflict resolution as individuals understand and respect each other’s limits. In this space, constructive dialogue, collaboration, and reciprocal respect oftentimes result in meaningful dialogue, and conflicts are less likely to escalate.

Developing emotional intelligence and healthy boundaries is an ongoing journey which requires practice, self reflection, and patience. It involves cultivating mindfulness, staying attuned to one’s emotions and reactions, and continuously refining one’s communication skills. By prioritizing self care and self awareness, individuals can nurture their emotional well being and cultivate more fulfilling relationships based on mutual respect and understanding, contributing to personal well being and positive, harmonious relationships.


(Next Topic: Is Emotional Intelligence a Natural Response or a Choice?) 


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