Emotional Intelligence in Henderson & Surrounding Areas: WHAT YOU PERMIT, YOU PROMOTE – CREATE HEALTY BOUNDARIES


by:  Mary Christian

“What you permit, you promote?”  What the heck is THAT supposed to mean in relation to Emotional Intelligence (“EQ”) and life in general?  Time to dive deeper…


At its core, EQ is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s emotions effectively. It involves being attuned to one’s inner experiences while also being sensitive to the emotions of others. Self-awareness, the central and key component to EQ, is the capacity to identify and comprehend one’s own feelings, strengths, weaknesses, and triggers. Insight can be gleaned into individual patterns of behavior and thought, in order to make conscious choices rather than reacting impulsively to emotional triggers.

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At the cornerstone of EQ are healthy boundaries which delineate the limits of acceptable behavior and define the space between self and mutual respect. Establishing boundaries is about creating clear guidelines for how we communicate our needs, desires, and limits assertively, with respect and without guilt or fear of rejection. Boundaries foster positive relationships and define the limits of acceptable behavior, creating a framework for individual interaction.  In this space, constructive dialogue, collaboration, and reciprocal respect results in meaningful dialogue and conflicts are less likely to escalate.

Self-awareness:  Understanding your own emotions, needs, and limits is crucial in establishing boundaries that align with your personal values. You get to tell me what doesn’t work for you, I get to tell you what doesn’t work for me, and neither of us needs to be psychic, mean, or argumentative?  WHAT A CONCEPT!  

Self-regulation:  Self-regulation is an effective emotional management tool.  When we set limits on certain behaviors and situations, challenging emotions are quelled and intelligent, composed responses are given rather than emotionally charged colloquy.

Empathy:  Empathy is an unparalleled skill in EQ. We can better understand, FEEL, choose how to respond, and then provide emotionally intelligent responses when we experience walking in one another’s shoes.  By respecting each other’s boundaries, a space is created where empathy thrives and leads to more meaningful and supportive relationships.

Communication: Effective communication requires openness, assertiveness, and vulnerability.  When our needs and expectations are clearly communicated, our emotional landscape changes and becomes more authentic and transparent.

Developing EQ is a never-ending journey of self-improvement that requires practice, self-reflection, and patience.  By cultivating mindfulness, staying attuned to one’s emotions, reflecting on reactions, and continuously refining one’s communication skills, individuals can nurture their emotional well-being and cultivate more fulfilling and harmonious relationships.


(Next Topic:  Is Emotional Intelligence a Natural Response or a Choice?)


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