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Emotional Intelligence in Henderson & Surrounding AreasMY DAD WORKED HARD TO PROVIDE FOR HIS FAMILY

2024.3.27

by:  Mary Christian

Do you believe in you gotta work hard — blood, sweat, and tears?  If so, who’s crying?  Were you taught “no pain no gain?”  If so, who’s hurting?  

These are both limiting beliefs, and possibly an excuse to avoid truly deep, intimate, authentic relationships with the people we love. 

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I recently read the following story: 
SON: “Daddy, may I ask you a question?“
DAD: “Yeah sure, what is it?”
SON: “Daddy, how much do you make an hour?”
DAD: “It’s really none of your business. Why do you ask?”
SON: “I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?”
DAD: “If you must know, I make $100 an hour.”
SON: “Oh.”  (With his head down).
SON: “Daddy, can I please borrow $50?”
DAD: “REALLY?!  If you’re asking to borrow money for some silly toy or game, you can just march yourself straight to your room to think about why you’re being so selfish.  I work hard every day to provide for this family, and this is the thanks I get?”
The little boy went quietly to his room and shut the door.
The dad sat down and started getting even angrier about his son’s questions. “How dare he ask question like such just to get some money?” he stewed.
After an hour, the dad calmed down, and started to think:  “Maybe there was something he really needed the $50 for?  He doesn’t ask for money often…”  So, the dad went to his son’s door and opened it.
DAD: “Are you asleep, son?”
SON: “No daddy, I’m awake”.
DAD: “I’ve been thinking, and maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It’s been a long day, and I  took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $50 you asked for.”
The little boy sat straight up, smiling.
SON: “Oh, thank you daddy!”
The boy reached under his pillow and pulled out some crumpled-up dollar bills.  When the dad saw the boy already had money, he started getting angry again as the little boy slowly counted out his money and looked up at his father.
DAD: “Why do you want more money if you already have some?”
SON: “Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do.   Daddy, I have $100 now.  Can I buy an hour of your time?  Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.”
The father was crushed.   He put his arms around his little son and begged for his forgiveness through a stream of tears.

Nothing wrong with working hard when you work. To some, working hard means abundance, yet to others abundance is expressed through love.  Me?  I say don’t work so hard in life time slips through your fingers.  If you died tomorrow, you would leave your loved ones behind regretting not spending time in a relationship with you — for the rest of their lives – with only a few precious memories to hold on to, instead of holding your hand. Listen to “Til you Can’t” a song by Cody Johnson

Mary C. –  03.27.2024

(Next Topic:  Establishing Healthy Boundaries)

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